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My Journey…the beginning

My journey…the beginning

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My journey to finding my bliss…nice phrase isn’t it but what does it really mean?  A journey sounds like something fun and exciting, but if that’s what I’m on, I don’t know how exciting it is, and if so, does that mean I’m doing this wrong?

The dictionary (as found online, not sure where a hard back dictionary even is anymore) states:

noun, plural journeys.

1.

a traveling from one place to another, usually taking a rather long time; trip:

a six-day journey across the desert.

2.

a distance, course, or area traveled or suitable for traveling:

a desert journey.

3.

a period of travel:

a week’s journey.

4.

passage or progress from one stage to another:
I like #4, feels right to me.  It’s all about feeling right?  A right of passage, from childhood to adulthood, from a daughter to a mother, from a son to a father, from a student to a what?  broke, depressed and lost adult?  We’ll dig into that one more at a later time.  I’ve definitely “passed” into adulthood, although I don’t recall exactly when that occurred, more like a slow progression into debt, children, divorce, housework, yard work, dogs, family drama and oh yeah that TON of responsibility sitting on my back giving me constant neck and shoulder problems.  Yeahhh baby, bring me some more of that!  CANCEL, universe, that was sarcasm, I do not really want more of that so don’t take everything I “say” so literally.
SO, on that note, I’m just starting this blog to begin documenting my thoughts and feelings around my journey and my life and how I see it.  How and where do I find “my bliss” as they say.  I am new to this whole blogging things so please bear with me as I go along.  Be NICE for pete sake, LOL.  I’m just a person putting stuff out there that may or may not reach others feeling the same way; kinda lost, or not, wondering what’s next, what am I doing, why am I doing or not doing something, just what is going on around here and heck, just some different ways at looking at things, stories and thoughts to share and hopefully have a good laugh!  Oh, a dogs, lots of dogs, or animals in general.  I’m really digging sloths these days, they’re just so darn cute!

 

Finding your bliss?

So what is this bliss thing and how do I get it? 

So what is this bliss thing and how do I get it?

The definition as found online is:

Bliss: “perfect happiness; great joy.”  “Reach a state of perfect happiness, typically so as to be oblivious of everything else.”

This doesn’t mean it has to be 100% of the time.  Being in bliss (or a state of bliss) for any length of time is the goal.

Finding your bliss is a process and one that I don’t think has an end but one that becomes more enjoyable and dare I say blissful?  You’ll get there, just be easy on yourself.

There are a four key areas that can assist you in getting to your bliss or “state of bliss”.   Think of them as CHIP: Choice, Heart, Intention and Perception

  1. Choice: “an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities”

Happiness is a choice.  Oh how I did not like hearing that the first time.  What do you mean it’s a choice!  I didn’t ask for these horrible things to happen to me, and I’m supposed to choose to be happy about it!? Have you lost your mind? How dare you tell me it’s a choice!  Welllll, it kinda is…

I know, I know, you’re life sob story means you can’t be happy and you can’t be happy until…I meet the perfect mate, until I rid myself of my current mate, until I’m rich, until I’m out of debt, until I have my own home, until I have a new car, until I get a bigger boat and on and on.

Now, you could get all defiant and start in about how babies don’t have a choice and therefore this can’t be true.  Okay, fine, if that’s how you “choose” to see it, then so it is. And then you say, I didn’t CHOOSE it, it is how it is!  We can keep going in circles here if you’d like, OR

  • What if…you choose a more positive point of view when looking at a situation (yes, the glass can be half full instead of half empty)
  • What if…you choose to find joy in the moment, any moment, one moment
  • What if…you don’t wait for that thing to make me happy, or that person to make me happy and just decide to be happy, just smile already!
  • What if…you laugh for no other reason than it feels good
  • What if…you choose to decide you can make a choice to be happy and choose to look at the good things in life and not focus on the bad
  • What if…you are grateful for everything, and not just the BIG things
    • It may be tough at first to come up with a list of 10 things to be grateful for. They may seem very small and “stupid”.  Like my pillow.  I love my pillow and my bed and having a window next to it where a cool breeze can come in and my dogs laying at my feet, etc.  There are so many things that we just take for granted and don’t even think about.  But, if you are someone that has no clean water or fresh air, you better believe those would be HUGE items on their list so why not yours?
      • I am happy/peaceful in nature, but I get that it’s not for everyone and that’s fine. I do love my yard, it’s like my own sanctuary/park. There was a time I only saw my yard as more work and something to be upset about, but now I see it as my happy place and it doesn’t feel like “work” anymore.
    • That’s the cool part, there isn’t ONE thing for everyone, but everyone can have their own thing/s.

And by the way, where is it written that we’re supposed to be unhappy “until” anyway?  When I chose to change my perspective and looked at this in a different way, well, I thought, why can’t I choose to be happy!  Who gets to set the rules about when and why to be happy, I DO!  I’m tired of other people or my old thought patterns telling me why I can’t be happy.  Man, are we a negative bunch of folks or what?  How about we start talking about why we can be happy!

2. Heart: “the central or innermost part of something; like very much; love”. Coming from your heart instead of your head is a simple way to help you find a more positive perspective.  Many don’t realize their perspective is coming from thought patterns they’ve developed over time in their “minds”.  You just keep repeating the same old thought patterns.  Again, it doesn’t matter why.  Don’t get hung up thinking about the why and how of these thoughts, just know you have the power to change them. Now, imagine these thoughts funneling through your “heart” first and over time they start to become more positive, loving and uplifting.  When you stop yourself as you realize you’re having another one of your same old negative thoughts, go to your heart. It may help to put your hand on your heart and then imagine seeing this situation from your heart and funneling through a new channel of love instead of an old channel in your mind.

3. Intention: “a thing intended; an aim or plan”. When you wake up in the morning, what is you intention?  Do you want to be grumpy, kick the dog, yell at the kids and stomp out the door to that stupid job and those idiot people you have to work with?  I doubt anyone purposely intends that this is the kind of day they want to have, but so many times it’s what they end up with.

Intention is interesting and I wonder what would happen if more people would stop and ask themselves; what is my intention in this situation or what was their intention in this situation?  It seems so often we default to believing that all intentions are bad.  They have “evil” intentions.  I mean, wouldn’t you have to believe that if you are always on the defensive?  I need to get them before they get me mentality.  Why?  Do you believe they have bad intentions for you?  Do you have bad intentions for them?  Is this negative view helping you or anyone?

Let me share an example of what I mean.  Let’s say your child pulls out your favorite flowers in the garden and brings them and the dirt into your just cleaned house and you go ballistic.  You yell at them and tell them how stupid they are and look what they’ve done!  Now YOU have to clean again!  You send them to their room and you cry over your dirty carpet and the missing flowers in the garden.

Was the child’s intention to make a mess and destroy the flower garden?  Your reaction was as if it were.  OR were they wanting to give the Mom they love unconditionally the beautiful flowers they saw her admiring and surprise her with a bouquet that they pulled all by themselves with their very own hands?  Kind of stops ya cold doesn’t it.  What do you suppose their perspective is now?

And what was your intention in screaming at your child?  Were you teaching them a lesson?  If so, what lesson were you intending to teach?  Do you see where I’m going here?

If you do something with good intentions, and it goes bad, does that mean what you did was wrong?  No.  If you do something with bad intentions and it turns out good, does that mean what you did was wrong?  Yes.

If you wake up with an intention of getting even and I’ll show them, how do you suppose your day will look?  How do you suppose you’ll come across to others?  And how will they respond?  And when they respond poorly to your presence, you then say SEE, I told you so, and then you justify why you’re in a foul mood!  Funny how that works isn’t it.  Soooo…;

  • What if…upon awaking you set an intention of having a GREAT day, of being happy, of doing something nice for someone else just because.
    • Just lay there in bed for a couple extra minutes, taking some deep breathes and setting some intentions and smile
  • What if…instead of assuming the worst about someone, you find out what their intention is before you make a negative judgment or just start assuming they have good intentions until otherwise shown

How many disagreements and hurts could have been avoided if the intentions had been to help and heal and not to be “right” or “win” at all cost.

  1. Perspective: “a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.”

Perspective is what you want it to be.  I mean, isn’t it funny how people have such differing perspectives of the same situation?  How can this be?  Do I need to bring up politics?

If you have decided (for whatever reason/s) that everything you do and every situation you “look at” is going to be bad or negative and you are always the victim, then guess what?  IT IS and YOU ARE!  And hey, if you’re okay with that, then more power to ya, own it!  But just know, you’re not going to find bliss in this condition.

If you’re not okay with it and instead of continuing a behavior just because it’s how it’s always been, then;

  • What if…you start to notice or just acknowledge you may be looking at things in a negative way (doesn’t matter why) and;
  • What if…you stop yourself and your thoughts as soon as you notice they are negative thoughts (perspectives) and you begin replacing them with more upbeat thoughts and finding a more upbeat perspective of a situation (the glass is half full or half empty).

It may be a bit bumpy at first and that’s ok!  It’s a process.  Stopping yourself from going into your pity party is tough when it’s all you’ve known. BUT if you want something different you have to do something different.

Assume the best in situations and in people.  Instead of walking around with your head down assuming everyone is out to get you; hold your head up, put a smile on your face and say HELLO to a stranger!  You will be amazed at how good just doing that feels.  And, you may have just made someone else’s day and that should make you happy cause we are all in this together.

Set an intention of doing well, of being good.  Set an intention of love, being love, expecting love.  Set an intention of living in bliss, of being happy, of living joyfully.  These could also be mantras or I AM statements.  I AM love, I AM bliss, I AM happy, I AM compassion, etc. and start your morning with those.

It’s okay if you’re not 100% happy all the time.  You get to choose and just knowing you can might make all the difference.  If you’re intentions are good and your perspective is positive, then getting to happy becomes easier.  If something goes wrong (as it will) you can allow yourself some time to be grumpy or sad and then tell myself, okay, that’s enough, time to get on with it!

Have we found our bliss yet?  CHIP in and move through the process and I know you will!

Soul message:  Lighten up on yourselves.  Stop beating yourself up for every little thing.  You have nothing to prove and are beautiful souls just as you are.  It is your right to be happy and you are worthy of happiness just for being.  Enjoy the bliss.

 

Why do we do what we do..to ourselves

Wish I had a specific answer to this.  I do believe we create our lives, or our perception of it anyway.

Yeah, I know, this is really hard for alot of people to hear or accept. (Why would you ask for bad things to happen, for the love of your life to die or leave you, etc. etc.)   I felt that way also when I first started reading and hearing about it.  Looking back now though, maybe that’s why I was seeing and hearing about it, so I would start to integrate it, to think about it, to “feel” it and explore what it means.  And I did and I continue to do so, but it’s not as if I just sat down and meditated and all the answers came…like I wanted them to.  No, more like things just kept happening but instead of ranting about them, I started taking moments; here and there, to look at myself when these things happened and ask myself some questions.

What was my part in it?  What were my thoughts or beliefs at the time.  It’s all someone else’s fault right?!  HE was the bad one, that’s why I’m divorced now right?!  Wellll, no.  It would be easier to always blame someone or something else and it kinda feels good playing the victim, telling your “stories” and getting sympathy…poor me right.  Yeah, I know, I did it, I can see it now.  And nothing changed.  Then I go and start reading about how I create my life.  YIKES, that’s huge!  I don’t know if I can handle this.  But then things started to change…baby steps

Over time, sometimes meditating, sometimes just listening to thoughts that popped in when I was quiet, like just on a walk with my dogs, looking out at my back yard or even staring at a computer screen I would realize I “feel” different.  I didn’t feel bad all the time.  If I picked up one of my many spiritual books, I sometimes just landed on a page that had just what I needed to hear and I felt…better.  Hmmm, no magical visions, no white light or messages from the dead, but yet, I felt better!  More time goes by and I noticed more things, nudges I guess you could say, or as the books say “whispers”.  Of course I wanted my whispers to be LOUD and IN YOUR FACE, no way you can miss this baby, oh, and I want to have VISIONS in full color and Angels, lots of angels talking to me so there’s no way I could misinterpret that I’m receiving a message!  WOO HOOO!!

Yeah, sooo, that didn’t happen.  And for awhile I felt I must be doing something wrong.  I’m just not meant to be “enlightened” I guess.  Interesting, that we, as a society and women especially (in my opinion) tend to blame ourselves for anything and everything that happens because we are unworthy somehow.  Oh, but wait, did I just say we blame ourselves as in we create our lives?  Okay, then why do we do this?  And if  I accept that I create my life, then don’t I also have to accept that I created this inability to “see” or “feel” and that I’m a loser and will never get this right and who am I to think I could anyway, so stupid, give it up, what am I thinking?

HEY, now wait just a darn minute.  Could I be looking at this all wrong (let’s say differently).  How do I “feel” thinking those negative thoughts?  Well, not very good I’ll tell ya that.  I feel like crap, worthless and there it is again, why!?!?  Where is this coming from, ME?! CRAAAP!  Why would I think and feel that about myself, of all people.  I don’t think that way about others.  As a matter of fact, I always give others the benefit of the doubt, I tell them how great they are.  If someone is having a bad day, I try to cheer them up.  I listen to them, I support them and then what, I go home and tell myself I’m worthless?!  Okay, this makes no sense.  Why would I do that, why do so many of us do that? Do we even realize we’re doing that?  And there’s those dang why’s again.  UGH, sick of why’s, just tell me already!

Fine, you’re not going to send me a vision and yell at me with the answers, guess I’m on my own here.  But I’m not really alone am I?  Maybe there is another way to look at things.  What if, asking the why’s brings answers to me, just not in the ways I may have been “thinking” they would.  What if, the answers are coming in whispers and nudges.  What if, I start to become aware of the negative thoughts and feelings when they begin and just stop them and turn off the recording as they say and play a new “song”.  What if, I tell myself what I tell others (you’re great, you’re smart, you’re beautiful), What if, I make a conscious effort to look at things from a different perspective, a positive one, where no one is the bad guy, one where I’m not stupid, I’m not worthless and I’m actually great and diverse and becoming aware and learning every single day, seeking truth and love and just being more positive in general.  What if, I give myself a break.  What if, I actually do those “mantra” things and look myself in the mirror and say I AM beautiful (inside and out), I AM wise, I AM worthy, I AM creative, I AM…

What happens then?